Lori Walton is married to NBA Hall-of-Famer Bill Walton, one of The Better Way Back® spokesmen. We asked her to share with us some of her candid thoughts about supporting someone who is recovering from back surgery. Here is what Lori remembers about caring for Bill:
I would constantly remind Bill not to let his fear of the surgery keep him from having faith. If you don’t believe the operation is going to be successful, it’s pretty difficult to heal.
When Bill was in the hospital I went to visit him every day, but I definitely did not spend all day with him or sleep at the hospital. I knew he was getting the best care possible and I didn’t want to wear myself out before he got home.
Once he got home, he slept in his own bed at night. We got a hospital bed that we put in the family room, so he would have a change of scenery during the day.
When people offer to help, don’t be shy about saying “yes.” Here are some ways that I found friends and family to be helpful:
- I am not a good cook and I don’t like to cook. So for me, to have Bill home all day, every day, needing breakfast, lunch, and dinner, was quite daunting! The easiest way for people to bring food is probably sandwiches or deli foods, so you don’t have to keep track of returning people’s dishes.
- Every Saturday I would meet my girlfriends for lunch while one of their husbands stayed with Bill, in case he needed anything. It was great to know that I had one day of the week that could be just for me.
- Bill is an avid reader, but because of the pain and medication, he was not able to read during his recovery. We had several friends who would come over, sit by his bed, and read the paper to him.
In the beginning, Bill was on a lot of medication. He was not thinking clearly. As a result he would sometimes ask me to do things that didn’t really make sense. So, you really have to think for yourself and do what you think is right, rather than defer to what the patient is asking.
You get in the habit of doing everything for the patient, so you need to be careful not to do things for them that they should start doing on their own. When Bill’s doctor said that it was safe for him to get up and move around, if he would ask me for a glass of water or something like that, I would remind him of what the doctor said and tell him that he needed to get up and do this for himself.
I think one of the challenging parts about a spinal fusion is how long it can take to fully recover. It took Bill pretty much nine months before he felt whole again. It was a long, slow process, so he would often forget that he was actually making progress. So, I would constantly remind him of the new things he was able to do.
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